FOUR SOURCES OF ANGER
There are four major sources of anger. The first source is anger we take on from someone else and confuse with our own energy. Secondly, we may experience anger from our past Core Distortions and past trauma. Third is anger that we experience in the present, often activated when we have repeatedly failed to set healthy boundaries or when our boundaries are repeatedly invaded. Often this type of anger can trigger the releasing of anger from our past or even past lives. Finally, there is also “just” anger. This is when we react to a “terrible wrong,” such as when a child is murdered or a major event such as 9/11.
If our energy field is too porous, we can let someone else’s energy enter our field and think it is our own. There are many reasons we subconsciously make our field too porous and take on someone else’s anger. Anytime we energetically merge with someone because we are “caretaking” them instead of caring for them, we take on their energy. Also, if we collapse into the negative aspects of the Heart-Centered or Compassionate Character Structures, our guilt and feelings of not being “enough” can magnetize our field so we take on someone else’s anger.
When we finally do set boundaries, as explained in the previous example, we can feel responsible for the other person’s angry reaction. Sometimes when we take on someone else’s anger, we become angry and annoyed, but sometimes we feel sadness. Our Explorers Mind can help us discover which feeling we are experiencing.
Leader and Excel types can run their energy very tightly. Their fields are less porous and don’t often take on someone else’s energy. Instead, they are more likely to push anger at others.
When we begin the process of being responsible for our anger and our unhealthy ways of storing or reacting in anger, we support ourselves. We do this by identifying the original source of the anger. By doing this, we learn and grow and understand any negative patterns that are programmed into us.
Sometimes a Core Distortion or trauma programmed into us by our past is the root of our anger and our present situation activates the past. Common Core Distortions/traumas of the past that bring anger into the present are situations where we have been invaded or “abused” by an authority figure in our life. “Abuse” is in quotes because, for a young child, it can feel like abuse when a big adult towers over them and yells—even if the yelling is to protect the child from danger.
Since there are various root causes of our anger, identifying the source helps us identify what lessons our anger is delivering to us. There is a saying, “keep death as an ally to help us make the right choices in the moment.” I agree, and add, “Use anger as our ally.” It says, “Notice me! There is something we missed and it urgently needs our attention.”
In marriage or close relationships, anger (often spiked over petty small issues) is a red flag saying we haven’t taken care of important unresolved business. If we don’t judge our obnoxious displays that explode outward, we can instead say, “Wow, what was that I just did? Something deep inside of me must be in awful pain—what have I not paid close enough attention to? What part of me is crying out for love?” We can follow the 5 Steps, move through the 3 Rings, find real wisdom and reconnect to our Core Being. Doing the following Anger Meditation helps us keep up with the “cleaning” of the dense vibrations in this Dimension of Earth.
ANGER MEDITATION FOR TRANSFORMING ANGER BACK TO CORE BEING
(1) Look at where anger is held in your body/energy system.
(2) Uncover its source. Is it your anger, anger you took from someone else, anger from your past or “just” anger? (Not even “just” anger should be held onto, because holding on to any energy distorts it, lowers our consciousness and separates us from Core Being. This is when our Separated Self takes charge and prevents us from achieving our highest good. We can listen to just anger and take appropriate action to improve our lives.)
(3) Receive the message of wisdom anger always brings—it often relates to a boundary issue or some unfairness of the past we can’t accept and move through.
(4) Then, using the HVC of our Enlightened Observer, feel the emotion of anger as a sensation in the body and let it transform and return us to our Core Being. To help in this process, as you bring in your Enlightened Observer’s HVC, it helps if you exercise or move about. So dance around, ride your bike up a big hill, or, if you are very skilled, sit in meditation and allow the anger to transform to wisdom and personal power. Also practice the exercises at the end of this chapter that are designed to be helpful to you as you learn how to transform anger.
If it is too hard to feel the sensation of the anger, feel free to imagine the sensation of it, picture what you are angry at, and with positive intention feel and visualize the energy of your Enlightened Observer come into your field and transform the anger. Anger transformed becomes personal power, wisdom, positive intention and positive action so we support/protect our self in a healthy manner. This helps us make our future free and clear of our negative past programming.
NOTE: If we only touch the emotion, but don’t transform it, we loop and charge the anger, miss the wisdom and can even hurt our self or others. So don’t loop or charge the anger. More is discussed later on this because the difference between “charging or looping” and “discharging for transformation” is a crucial distinction rarely recognized. Our job is to access the anger (connect to it) and discharge it, not to charge the anger and loop in it. If we don’t feel more empowered and less angry, then we failed to transform it.
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